Suzanna Danna

March 21st I headed to DFW to hop on my first of 2 planes that day. I got to Chicago, switched for one of those small, 3 on one side, 2 on the other jobs and then landed in Green Bay. I turned on my phone to a text from the gorgeous Wendy and she let me know she was headed my way to pick me up. We were going to run errands and basically be fabulous while doing so. I was so excited I wanted to kiss everyone at baggage claim. They really don’t frown upon that kind of thing in Green Bay, but it is not encouraged… the open mouthed kissing of strangers who are waiting for luggage.

Wendy arrived and stepped inside baggage claim. She braved me messily licking her face and humping her leg like an excited puppy and then herded me and my large suitcase (Shrek) out to her cute car. We both hopped in and headed up to Door County.

Our first stop was the Starbucks to get iced black tea as it is fabulous and tastes like motherfucking sunshine.

Then we headed up the road to get cheese. We stopped at Chuck's Dyckesville Bowl and had a frost mug of root beer and the most amazing fried cheese curds in the whole world*. I took one bite and was like, “Holy Christ, these are so fabulous, they need their own t-shirt.” Wendy calmly pointed to the wall where there was, indeed, a t-shirt.

Guess who walked out with that t-shirt that Chuck is holding?

Yes, bitches. Me.

We meandered up to Renard’s Cheese Heaven (that is not it’s real name, but it should be) so Wendy could pick up cheese that is so amazing it will make you cry. On the way back to her house we (totally SHE… I couldn’t see anything because I was still blinded by the awesomeness of the cheese curds) saw a herd… gaggle?... flock? murder? of turkeys in the thicket on the side of this little off shoot of a road. We pulled into the south entrance of the road and sped up to where Wendy spotted the gobblers and (it is a gift, she can spot wildlife a mile away) slowed down to a crawl to scan the area with our keen eyesight (I didn’t even have my glasses on; I wouldn’t have been able to see a barn). We got out of the car when we saw movement and I tried to get video. Yeah, fail. But it was a fun adventure.

We came back into town, plotting and planning our evening and the rest of the week the whole way in. We stopped by her local market and stocked up on her necessities, some yummy goodness for that evening’s dinner and a bouquet of flowers to place around her home. Yes, she is fancy enough to have fresh flowers placed around her house. My goal is to be like her when I grow up. Seriously.

Wendy and I made dinner plans and futzed around in the kitchen and arranged flowers in her many vases (that she made and or purchased) until it was time to pick up her adorable pug, Aveline, from daycare. We went to the puppy day care and Wendy showed me around. It is a fabulous facility.

Ave came out from the back of the daycare and bustled around our legs and feet like a teeny little Col. Klink, making sure her person was there, that she would be getting to ride in the truck and snorting derisively in my direction when I asked her questions.

We got back to the house and worked on dinner. Wendy’s husband was around and we ate a delicious meal and chatted about the coming weekend. After dinner we decided to get settled with the IGIGI garments, we needed to match up each garment with the person who selected it so we could have the IGIGI fashion show during Weetacon.

Having matched up the person with their garment I started trying on Wendy’s clothes, the fabulous black sequins skirt I had begged for and stomping around her house like Sally O’Mally yelling, “I like to KICK… and STRETCH and KICK!... I’m FORTY!”

She didn’t ask me to leave.

Fabulous.

We hung out for most of the evening and I have to be honest with y’all, I love to come into Green Bay early for Weetacon. Yes, it is a soothing thing to be in town early and not have to worry about traveling nightmares and not making it on time, ect. But it is also nice to know that on top of getting settled at St. Brendan's Inn way before I have any actual duties, I get to spend time with Wendy. That is a happy place for me. Sappy? Yes. But true.

I had been part of the planning committee in the past and this year, I was swamped with other responsibilities and I missed out on being part of the team (sad face), but I offered to be the “pick up girl”… basically the fluffer who would take care of anything last minute, or whatever was needed.

Note to planning committee: Sorry for not being a true part of the team this year.

Wendy and I packed up her car with all sorts of goodies for the coming weekend and headed to St. Brendan's Inn. That place makes me so freaking happy. It is a perfect spot to launch any activity that Weetacon can throw at it. Space for Karoke? Check. Awesome restaurant? Check. Bar that feed you incredible drinks (FOOD GROUP!) like the one below? Check.

Let me line this out for you. The St. Brendan's Bloody Mary is composed of the following: tomato juice, vodka, celery salt, olives on a stick, pickle, lime, lemon, meat stick, cheese stick and a Spotted Cow beer chaser.

It is the breakfast of champions.

Because of the 80’s theme the schedule was school related as most of us were in school in the 80’s.

Here is a rundown of events. I will tell you what each thing means. If it isn’t evident. (And even if it is.) :)

Schedule of Events
Thursday
5 – 7 pm Early Bird dinner at Caffe Mario
7-10 pm DIY night with DIY Studio and Gifts
Friday
8 – 9:30 am Weetacon bake sale and Gracie Designs Trunk Show
10 am Morning announcements
11 am Lunch
12:30 pm Class pictures
1-3 pm Gym Class
4-6 pm Field Trip
6 – 7 pm Booster club (sponsored by the PTA)
8 pm -??? Glee Club auditions
Saturday
8 am – Yoga and meditation sciences
9 – 11 am – Self defense with Coach Dave
11 am – 12:30 pm — Open lunch period (find someone to sit with!)
12:30 – 2:30 pm Study Hall (zzzzzz)
2:30 pm – Community Service (Weetacon Raffle)
4:30 pm – Fiber Arts Fashion Show sponsored by Igigi
5:30 pm – Homecoming Dinner at Prime Quarter
8 pm – ??? Curfew (sneak out and meet us at the Bad Bar!)
Sunday
11 am – Yearbook signing and award ceremony
3 pm – Hang out and play video games at the coolest guy in school’s basement

Thursday was lovely with people showing up in droves. Sarah, Dave, Allison and I worked the registration tables. Making sure that everyone got their nametags (courtesy of Michael), their programs and their pocket guides (courtesy of Melinda and fredlet). If they were signed up for the IGIGI fashion show, I made sure that they got their garment, tried it on and made sure it fit. (IF it didn’t, I found an alternative for the fashion show/review.) Lots of hugs and smiles and kisses. It was lovely to see everyone again.

Thursday evening we headed to Caffe Mario that is settled on the Fox River. It was lovely. I went with the spaghetti and wanted to roll around in it when I tasted it. The food was awesome and we kept getting texts and messages from people who were arriving. We headed back to St. Brendan's to have our Thursday night function in the Waterford Room.

The ladies from D. I. Y. Studio and Gifts were on hand with some homemade goodies (jewelry, ect) and the fixins to make your own perfume and lotion. I made some Coco-Coriander and Sage lotion and a little roller ball perfume. The fragrance is so delicious. I have it on right now. Nom. We hung out in the room for a while then meandered to the bar, then back into the main room, then all went to bed at an obscene hour. It was fabulous.

The next morning we had a trunk show and bake sale and our friend Kelly from Gracie Designs was on hand to offer her amazing line of handmade/hand sewn accessories. I grabbed up many of her headbands as per the norm … replace the word headbands for any word that she makes, card cases… purses… wallets… barrettes, hats… put a wearable noun here… she makes it. She even put some velvet backing on a few headbands so they wouldn’t slip off my pea-head. She brought it to me later that afternoon because we were meeting up again when we finished the opening ceremonies and Wendy gave us some sage words about the powers of smiling and going after your dreams.

The bake sale was a rousing success and there were stickers and pins and bacon chocolate chip cookies and bacon Rice Krispies treats. Yes, BACON. There were meat sticks and cheese sticks and cake pops that were so good they would make you cry. There were bags of check mix and snacks of all sorts and sizes. We raided the tables like vultures and praised all those who made things to donate. They were fabulous!

We all grabbed a bus buddy and headed outside to gather on the steps. After Wendy took the class picture we all loaded up on the bus and went on a tour of the Packers Stadium, after the bus tour we headed to the roller rink. YES, we are adults. YES, we have a fucking ass load of fun. YES, you can join us next year.

We rooted around the roller rink and did the hokey pokey (I have video) and turned ourselves around. Because that’s what it’s all about. I almost busted my ass in the ladies room and completely marveled at my total LACK of muscle memory for this kind of activity. Yeah, I am 40.… and yeah, I had some wheeled shoes strapped to my feet earlier this year. Am I still graceful on skates? Hell, no. Was it a blast? Yes. Moving on.

After the roller rink we all jumped back in the bus we headed to the Rock K Ranch, which is located between Green Bay and Appleton. We have been going to this ranch for years for our annual sleigh ride but this year, because of the later time we selected for Weetacon and the lack of snow, we had a horse drawn hay ride. It was raining and lovely. We went deep into the woods, singing and passing the Doctor around each of the two wagons and ended up at a gorgeous bonfire.

We hung out at the bonfire and took pictures of one another and shared more Dr. McGillicuddy and then hopped back on the wagons and headed back to the barn for, what most Weetaconers call their favorite time of the weekend… the bratwurst and booyah fixed lovingly and with much awesomeness by Wendy’s mother in law, June. The spread of food is immense and mouthwateringly delicious. June makes everything from booyah (a scrumptious stew) to brats with all of the fixings and pineapple fluff and the sheer amount of food is staggering and everyone loves it all. SO HARD. Her pineapple fluff has been rumored to make angels weep with respect.

After the amazing meal we all loaded back up on the bus and headed to St. Brendan’s.

On the way back to the hotel we played 80’s trivia and won prizes. This year was the eighth year of Weetacon badassery and fredlet made an amazing logo to go along with the theme of 80’s and Infinity. Check it.

Fabulous, no? YES. Yes, it is.

On the way to the Rock K Ranch we played Cards Against Humanity in the bus. And according to Wil Wheaton:

OH while playing Cards Against Humanity: "GODDAMMIT! It's ALWAYS the clitoris!"

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) May 12, 2012

This game came around many times over the whole of Weetacon, the most spectacular, was on Sunday.

Friday evening Chad hosted the Karaoke and we danced and sang and got serenaded by the owner of St. Brendan's. We laughed and joked and dared each other to sing something or another. Chad rocked Taylor Swift so hard that I laughed and cried at the same time. We stayed up until 3 am or so and sent our karaoke team up to bed with the promise that their equipment would be fine until the morning.

Saturday while most people were leaning self defense from Dave or taking yoga or having lunch a few of us were laying out the incredible goodies for the Raffle. Weetacon is amazing. Yes, it is a get together for so many from all walks of life and all over the globe, but it also a charity event. We raise money through the bake sale, through the raffle and through the sale of the Weetacon calendars. We raise this money for a local Green Bay Charity called Paul’s Pantry. Over the years we have raised over $10K, which is pretty impressive for a group of goofy writers/bloggers/internet lurkers.

We had over sixty items, all more incredible than the next. There were handmade quilts, pottery, scarves, gift certificates, booze, art, photos, an adult themed corner (*blush*), a camera tote/purse by Jo Tote (Just like this one…CLICKIETY) and other amazing items. We bought tickets and started filling up the paper bags in front of each item. It was fabulous.

Quick shout out to one of our sponsors… Hi George’s Cream! I love you! Y’all? Order some of this stuff now. Maybe I can ask them to do a giveaway or something, but regardless, I want you all to order at least a small tube of the George’s Light, Special Moisturizing Lotion. You will thank me. So will anyone touching you.

Later that afternoon all the ladies who were participating in the IGIGI fashion show put on the garments supplied by IGIGI (in exchange for a review.. WIN WIN! Right!?) and walked the makeshift runway in the Waterford Room to the hoots and hollers of our fellow Weetaconers. The ladies all gathered in the bathroom and then filed into the hallway as Wendy announced us and was our emcee. It was lovely, we took a picture at the end and I am always amazed at how incredible IGIGI is. The garments are truly cut for plus sized women and they fit a multitude of different body shapes. Go back a few entries and you can find my review of the Minnelli Sequined Skirt. Which is the BOMB.

After the runway show we all went to a nice place a few miles away called Prime Quarter. It is one of those “cook it yourself (or pay $2 extra to have someone not fuck up your steak for you)” places. Shawn (my chocolate bunny) and I shared a gorgeous filet and salad and I personally burned our Texas toast on the grill.

When we got back to the hotel Jen and I went upstairs to get ready for our 80’s themed party which was being held on the 2nd floor of the Fox Harbor Pub and Grill which is basically across the parking lot from St. Brendan’s… BRILLIANT PLAN. Seriously.

I was wearing what ended up being a “Hi, I am Pat Benetar, I will dance in support of the local prostitutes/dancers and my bandana wrapped around my ankle is FIERCE” type of thing while Jen spiked the shit out of her blonde hair, put on all the black eyeliner in the world and went goth. She rocked it. Me? Shut up. We walked next door, went up the stairs and fell face first into awesome. Everyone was dressed up in their finest 80’s garb. Paula and her husband were Robert Palmer and one of those chicks from the Simply Irresistible/Addicted to Love videos. Sarah and Dave were Jennay, a local Avon sales representative complete with her bible on “Color Me Pretty” and one of the guys from Devo, whip and red planter hat accounted for. Chris and Wendy Mc were put upon teens with leather and lace gloves and bad attitudes. It was fabulous!

We played 80’s television show theme trivia and Trish swept the floor with all of us.

Sunday rolled around and we all (rather glumly) gathered in the Waterford Room for the last time. Wendy gave out trophies and Miss Congeniality and awards for things that happened all weekend. After the award ceremony, people started drifting out to the lobby to start saying goodbyes. By ones and twos our group broke up and drifted off to travel home. A few of us stayed. We headed to Van Able’s for lunch and then over to Scotty Boom Boom’s house to play Rock Band.

When we left Van Able’s Gwen and I got a ride with Scotty. We headed over to June’s house to pick up the left overs from the hay ride feast. There was so much food that his trunk was over flowing and Gwen had baked goods on her lap and nudging her gently in the head. We got to Scotty’s and put everything to rights and waited for people to show. When everyone got there a vote was taken and it was unanimous that Mike and I would head back to the hotel to pick up the Cards for Humanity game. We went and when we came back, we played the game in a circle on Scotty’s floor. It was fabulous!

One answer was far and away the most remembered. We were going around the circle and Gwen was down to one of her last cards. She had an answer that she didn’t think would go over well with any question that was previously asked… and she felt that this question was no different. “What is the new fad diet?” So when it came her turn, she shook her head in consternation and replied to the question that was asked and with a small shrug of one shoulder and a lift of her hand, she intoned, “Bees?”

The whole place FELL OUT.

That answer became the new “That’s What She Said” for the whole day. We were all laughing uproariously and started a twitter avalanche that spanned the United States.

The Weetacon twitter reply rendered even the heartiest weak with laughter and sore stomach muscles.

That evening we held fellowship in the bar of St. Brendan’s Inn. The few of us that were there were quiet and introspective and we spoke of love and community and that we couldn’t wait until next year.

Monday, we headed home.

I miss you all. I love you. And I count myself a very lucky individual to be able to call you all my friends.

The movie of the Photo Booth from the 80’s night. Chad BLED to bring us this movie. I can almost watch this without crying.

*Yes. The WHOLE DAMN WORLD.

I have been thinking about this for almost a month. Yes, a month. It has been almost that long since I went to Green Bay for Weetacon. I haven’t written about it yet as I am not sure what I want to share, as it is sort of like when a white man takes a picture of a Native American and “steals part of his soul” type of thing. It was my experience and I kind of don’t want to share… because I am selfish. That may make NO sense to you if you are not in some way crazy.

Here, let me share my crazy with you.

I share (some things) well with others. Sometimes.

I’ll ease into it*. How about that?

*That’s what your mom said.

So over the past month (I cannot believe time is going so fast… apparently that is what happens when you are officially OLD as SHIT.) I have had some incredible things happen. I told y’all about going to the Anatole with Nugget (mmmmm sexy time) and I told you about packing for Green Bay. I have not, however, told you guys about the 40 Days of 40, Easter, the Mavs game… or my secret admirer. Let’s get started.

The 40 Days of 40** is amazing.

**Whoops, I just realized I already told y’all about this… But I DID NOT give you a photo. (Sorry about the “view image” bullshit, I am not smart enough to fix it. :: shrug :: I’ll make a thumbnail. Click to embiggen.

As of today I am on day 19. I have received the following items. What I received and what the note inside the package read.
1. Day One – 2 packs of smokes. “One for each day for the next forty days!!”
2. Day Two – A chocolate bar. “Sweets for the SWEET!!”***
3. Day Three – 40 small bottles of bubbles. “Because you are so bubbly and fun!”
4. Day Four – “40 pennies!! You will never be broke!!”
5. Day Five – 2 bottles of white out. “Susan did it!! She ruined the computer!!”
6. Day Six – bubble bath. “Have a nice relaxing day!”
7. Day Seven – My first camouflage t-shirt I got to go hunting when I was little. “We love all the different sides of your personality!!” (This was worn by my niece and nephew until it got too small for them, then returned to me.)
8. Day Eight – A gorgeous gold tone Christian Dior cuff bracelet that was my grandmothers. “Happy Birthday from Butter”
9. Day Nine – Hershey’s Kisses “Forty kisses for our sister, daughter and aunt!!”
10. Day Ten – Hardback Novel Back of Beyond by C.J. Box “30 more days! :) Day 10”
11. Day Eleven – 2 packages of Ramen Noodle Soup “Will you ever forget those Ramen noodles??”
12. Day Twelve – A stuffed pink bunny. “NOT Orthodox Easter!”
a. Snippet taken from February 2008 entry,

“When I was in Nacogdoches my parents asked me to come visit them for Easter. I was married, didn’t give a shit if my no-good redneck husband (at the time) joined me or not on any trip so I looked at my calendar, located Easter and asked for time off. I bought my tickets, or my parents did. Whatever. And as I was getting ready to leave the next weekend, I called my parents to see if they would come pick me up from the airport when I arrived. My mother asked in a confused voice, “This weekend? I thought you were coming for Easter.” I am sure I rolled my eyes as I replied, “Yes Maaaaaaaaahm, this weekend is Easter.” I looked at the calendar with my dates off and the flight information to see over the dates a holiday listed. It was Easter alright, but ORTHODOX Easter.
And my sister, the loving goddess that she is gets my parents a calendar from Shutter Fly every year. And she always thoughtfully puts ORTHODOX Easter on the calendar for me. How sweet.
Never have and never will live that down.”

13. Day Thirteen – 40 dollars in ones – no note. Was on the phone with Nugget, he asked me, “Does your mother want you to go to a strip club and make it rain?”
14. Day Fourteen – A blow up beach ball. “Ready Beach!? Here we come”
15. Day Fifteen – “Lip Gloss for that pretty smile!!”
16. Day Sixteen – One of my senior photos… I have on a red and white shirt, an acid washed jean jacket, hair that is SO large … and I am cuddling my cat. Yeah, I don’t know either. “There she is --- Our Susan!!” (My mother loves punctuation. A Lot.)
17. Day Seventeen – “Pens to write your first book!”
18. Day Eighteen – Hardback Novel Taken by Robert Crats “Day 18”
19. Day Nineteen – A packet of 60 pcs of Eclipse gum. No note. Just a vague sense of unease that fairly screams, “Damn girl, have a mint.”

***Which fairy tale was this in? And who said it?

It is so much fun to open these presents every day… and Max is enjoying it as much as I am. In every picture of the gifts I post on FB, Max is just out of frame waiting to pounce and play with the bag, twist tie, paper, ect.

A few weeks ago I got a strange text from a metroplex number. It simply stated, “I meant to do this sooner but time got away… SO… For the next 37 days I’m going to remind you that you are tuning 40… starting now. Happy 40’ish Birthday!” I said thank you and asked who it was. They responded with, “The answer to that will be my present to you… in 37 days.”

Over the next nine days I got texts daily, and I responded one time to say “thank you mystery person” and another to tell said person that I was officially freaked out. Seriously y’all, think about it. No matter how sweet the intention or how benign the texts… “goooood morning nearly 40 girl!!!!!!!” at 6:38 am takes on a creepy tone when you are sufficiently paranoid.

When I told the person that I was kinda skeeved out, he told me who he was. It is one of my oldest friends that I grew up with. I am currently trying to find pictures of him wearing jams he made in home ec class. I will then post the pictures of him (in said JAMS!) on FaceBook with NO remorse.

Although he is still telling me happy birthday daily I am not freaked out in the slightest… knowing who is giving you shit is so much better than a secret stalker admirer. I guess that thing about Knowledge is Power is true.

The day is getting away from me. So I will leave this entry as it stands, and I will bring the Weetacon funk and the Mavs game noise (and some tidbits on Nugget) the next time.

MWAH!

Be good to each other.

Awesomesauce, thy name is IGIGI.

So this year at Weetacon several of the ladies got to participate in the IGIGI Fashion show and wear some beautiful clothes. I was so excited when Weetabix contacted us and asked us if we wanted to participate. Did I ever!? Answer: YES!

I have been lucky enough to participate in the IGIGI fashion show twice before and I am always in awe of the fabulousness of the materials, cut and drape of the IGIGI garments.

Ladies, I don’t know if you are a size 2 or a size 32. If you fall in the range of 14-32 there should never be a question of where you purchase your standard go-to’s in your closet or your special pieces for amazing occasions. You should always turn to IGIGI for your clothing needs.

I have several things to say, and I will harp on this repeatedly below… BUT… please hear these few points. Do you want clothing that fits your body (as a plus sized woman this is sometimes rough to do)? Do you want clothing that is travel friendly? Do you want to feel fabulous in what you wear? Please just go to IGIGI’s site, purchase ONE staple for your closet (black skirt/top/jacket/pants… whatever is your comfort “go to” garment) and try it out. You will find yourself wearing the hell out of IGIGI stuff in no time. Yes, it is more expensive than the clearance rack for Lane Bryant… I KNOW. But… seriously, listen to me. It is SO freaking worth it.

My magnificent grandmother always said, “Trends come and go, dress classically and spend a little more on your clothes, it will be worth it because in the end… they will last.” I cannot say this enough, y’all, these clothes are draped for plus sized women. They are sexy, classic, timely, body conscious, do not need to be dry cleaned (most of the time), can be balled up in a suitcase and then worn immediately and not look like you just crawled out of an overhead bin, the materials are breathable and lovely to feel (if you are a tactile junkie, like me) and the most important. They last forever.

I decided to crawl out of my comfort zone (of black pants, black shoes, a twin set… and GO!) because (YAWN!) Booooooooooooring! So, I asked to wear the Minnelli Sequins Skirt in Black. Oh My Gopher. Seriously. The (sexy) little skirt that has just enough (jazz hands) pizzazz to amp up any occasion, but not too gaudy looking. If I think sequins, I immediately think of Cee Lo Green or Michael Jackson’s sock and/or glove (because I am ancient) and the look to me normally is, “Oh hell no.” This skirt? It is sequins, yes, and it jacks the awesome factor up to eleven because, y’all? The material is fabulous and the sequins (I still can’t believe I ordered a sequin skirt) are small, and not crazy reflective. They add just the right amount of sparkle to an everyday separate and make it amazing. Not like you are secretly hoping to be Liberace’s stand in.

So to answer the question, “What did you like about the garment?” My first answer would be – The fabric. Have y’all ever touched sequin material before? This is the opposite of that. Scratchy? No. Hot? No. Heavy? No. That is what surprised me the most is that the fabric is so freaking friendly. It drapes, it is a little stretchy and it is not cheap looking. It is lovely.

“Was there anything you'd like to be different about the garment (ex. did it fit ok? Was it too long? Did you need a special bra or foundation?) and how will you compensate for that (ex. Get it hemmed)” I made a mistake with this garment. I ordered the size I thought my ass was. Um. Apparently I am not that size anymore. It was way too big… too long, too wide, ect. So I rolled that puppy up about 3 times, and walked that runway of the Waterford room like I was comfortable with my arms showing. Booyah.

I will defiantly have to have the skirt hemmed and I hope it is not too expensive, but like most clothing that really fits me (small waist, BIG ass, long legs, short torso) I am used to having things tweaked.

“What was your impression of the value for the retail price? (I.E. did it look like something you'd buy at Walmart or something you'd buy at Barney's New York?)” This skirt retails for $90 dollars. I believe that it will last for a bajillion years if I take care of it. I won’t be able to ball this one up like I can with my wrap dresses and IGIGI tops. I will have to be gentle with it. It is sequins, dur. So because of the feel of the fabric and how it drapes I would say that this garment is spot on cost wise. I would pay more for a skirt like this. I know, I’m not made of money and currently have not won the lottery (aka “redneck retirement fund”), but I know quality when I see it and feel it.

“Where do you envision yourself wearing this garment during your real life off of the Weetacon runway?” I envision myself wearing this garment to work (I will so get the “what is the special occasion?” harassment, SO WORTH IT.), out on the town, to special engagements like the theater. I believe that because I live in Texas, this will be a year round go to garment. Hopefully people won’t get tired of it as I am planning on wearing the crap out of it.

“How will you accessorize this outfit and make it your own?” It is black (fabulous) and therefore can be worn with almost anything. In my humble opinion. I think I will wear it with twin sets, sweaters, maybe a t-shirt and a jean jacket with sandals. I think I can dress it up with a twin set and pearls or a velvet jacket in the winter. Or make it all casual for a night at the movies with Nugget. Yes, it is that comfortable.

“Bonus question: how many other Igigi garments do you currently have in your closet?” I have many pieces from IGIGI. I got my first few in… I believe 2006 and they have been irreplaceable to me. The first one is a black and cream paisley, ¾ sleeve, lace trim, pseudo wrap top in a lovely silky material that I wear all the freaking time. If I were to count I would have to say I have (counting on fingers… and toes…) I believe… twelve garments.

I ended up giving this pretty sequin skirt to LadyLoo and because she way tall (yes, I am tall… but that lady has legs for DAYS!) and she rocked it for the evening of our 80’s party. It looked gorgeous on her. She is also FREAKING Awesome for ordering me the skirt in an 18/20. If you are looking on IGIGI’s site, please read the reviews of each garment. I should have ordered a size (or two) down, according to the reviews. When will I ever listen?

I know. It’s fabulous, right!?

Want a chance to shop at Igigi on us? Just go to the Igigi website, pick out the garment you'd love to have for your very own and leave a comment here on this post, telling me exactly how you'd accessorize your new Igigi fashion and where you plan to wear it. One lucky commenter will receive a free $50 gift certificate. But wait, that's not all. Each of our Weetacon Igigi reviewers will be giving away a $50 gift certificate to Igigi, so you can enter by leaving one comment on each of those reviews too. Yes, you read this right: Weetacon and Igigi are giving away over $1000 in Igigi by Yuliya Raquel gift certificates! The only catch is that you must enter by May 15 and you can only enter once per review. Winners will be announced on Weetacon Igigi review page by May 18th.

FCC-liciousness: (ganked from Karen’s site (don’t judge me.)) The [skirt] in this entry was provided to me for review purposes by Igigi. The content of this entry was not dictated by Igigi; I get to keep the [skirt] for my personal use.

Updated to add this awesome photo.

Weetabix tweeted this on the evening of Wednesday the 21st of March. We were playing with the garments and putting peoples' names on the tags and I found my skirt... and was lunging around her home kicking and shouting "IIIIIIII'm FORTY!"

UPDATE 5/17/12
Gwen is the WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER! of the IGIGI giveaway!
Congratulations Gwen!

Yanno what’s really odd? I am comfortable with the fact that I will be forty in 36 days. YUP. Forty. I had to get used to it as my Kerr Krew and I celebrated our 40th birthdays in style earlier this year. We have also been getting together for birthday dinners for one friend or another since last fall.

I took off work tomorrow because my daddy is smoking some ribs for me for my birthday dinner. My sister’s family all had Good Friday off, so we’re all headed to my parents’ place for the weekend. Daddy wanted to cook for me and I requested his famous and fabulous, fall off the bone, holy crap that’s amazing! ribs. And y’all? I don’t normally ear bar-b-que. The Texas BBQ Commission tried to take away my Texan membership card because of that fact alone. But when my daddy makes his ribs? I eat so much that I just lay on the floor, moaning, holding my full belly with my mouth open hoping someone will drop some more of that sweet sweet rib meat into my gaping maw.

This may be a slight exaggeration as most people who know me, and have eaten with me will attest to my weird eating habits. I pick. I scoot stuff around on my plate and Dear Baby Jesus, never go to Arby’s with me as I deconstruct my sandwich and then remake it to my personal (CRAZY!) specifications.

But I really do love the ribs that my daddy cooks.

And no, I refuse to apologize for being a grown ass woman who calls her father “daddy”. It’s charming,… shut up… it IS.

Back to the birthday…

Yes, I will be 40, and I am okay with it.

The coolest thing happened.

On Sunday my sister and her loving husband came over to “drop something off”. I had no idea that they would be arriving with a surprise. I opened the door to find the two of them holding bags and bags, seriously, of presents and with my parents on the phone via speaker. They entered and my folks were shouting “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” and then my sister told me that the next day would kick off the 40 Days of 40! Each day I would open a present, and they were marked, Day 1- Day 40. I couldn’t peek at the bags and I had to do them in order. It is the coolest thing. I started Monday and I am on Day 4. I have opened things varying from 2 packs of smokes (“One for each of the 40 days!”) to forty mini bottles of bubbles (“Because you’re so bubbly and fun!”) It is the sweetest thing and I am really excited about my birthday.

Stacey and Kerry turned 40 last year and Dre turned 40 in February. Nugget and I are 3 days apart. He’s the “older man”, so we are both turning 40. Stephanie and Ginger are the babies with August and September 40th birthdays.

So I have finally come to the conclusion that I am okay with my age, but I am not ok with how I feel right now.

And because of that… I have to admit something. I have been avoiding y’all. I need to write about Green Bay and how amazing the weekend was. But I can’t get out of my own way right now. Something is off.

It has been off, well, for a while now. I think it started when I began to come off the Nirivam. I had been on it for (searching the archives… HOLY SHIT) for five years. And my new Doctor, a kindly, middle-aged, Indian man… asked me to switch meds. To recap… a quote from 3/7: “…I have been weaning myself off of my current anti-anxiety meds (Nirivam, 2mg, 2 pills a day) and switching over to some other anti-anxiety med (Celexa… we know I’m crazy, yes?). So, hi, I am an anxiety riddled, insomniac, crazy person coming off a narcotic. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I am losing weight by the ass load. I can’t fill up a normal bra anymore. Lord…”

That is putting it mildly. Last Saturday I had the shakes like a crack baby and embarrassed myself something good trying to cut a stuffed jalapeño from Kenny’s Burger Joint (NOM!!!!!!!!) in 1/4ths. It was spectacularly bad. Like Tourette’s-y bad.

I haven’t been sleeping, as the shakes keep me awake with the (motherfucking) muscles spasms and limb jerking. It is exhausting, it is like seizing but being completely aware the whole freaking time. I can’t stand this. My heart pounds. I am worried that I am in danger of a heart attack because my heart pounds so hard at night that it rocks my body. My tongue is coated in some weird film. It doesn’t matter how often I brush my teeth and my tongue. Speaking of my tongue, it is too big for my mouth. Yes, seriously. I have little shred marks on the sides of it where it rubs against my (BIG SHARP POINTY!) teeth at night. I have weird numbness in my face (forehead), my scalp, the back of my neck and the outsides of my hands and feet.

Apparently I am falling apart.

I went to see my Dr. on Tuesday after a particularly bad evening the night before. I was shaky, my head was pounding and so was my heart. I just wanted to make sure he was aware of what was going on with this whole… getting off a narco thing. Why yes, that DID happen to be the day that multiple tornados touched down in DFW. This will be important in a minute.

I told the kind dr. what was going on, he nodded and steepled his fingers, his eyes narrowed in concern as he listened then listed my complaints on my chart. He then said the thing I was hoping for, but needed validation in the form of my medical professional telling me that I wasn’t insane. The items I listed above are all symptoms of coming off a narcotic. He suggested that I came off of it too fast and suggested that I go back on the half pill or a ¼ pill for a little while longer. I staunchly refused. He commended my will power and asked how the Celexa was working. I asked him what it was supposed to do. He said, “Help you with your anxiety and let you sleep.” I guffawed heartily. He did show concern about the whole heart pounding so hard it rocked my body thing. And ordered an EKG.

As his nurse walked in she was visibly nervous about the black sky beyond the 3rd floor window panes that were covering half of 2 walls of the little exam room. She said “Oh Sushaaan, you are not SKAAAHRED, but I yam… oh, I YAM.” I told her that there was no need to worry yet. She asked why, I pointed to the sky and said, “Well, I don’t worry until the sky is green.” She relaxed and said, “Really!?” Like a child that was just told that it was ok to stay up past their bedtime.

She felt me up hooked me up to the machine and then started the process. It was going well until … the sirens started screaming. For some reason she relaxed as I tensed up. She told me why she was relaxed. “Oh, that’s good, the alarms sound when everything is ok… yes?” I replied, “Um, no.”

Good thing the EKG results did not show my terror, or my shakiness… as they were spot on perfect. I still have an amazing heart and the good dr. told me as much as he commented on my weight loss and the things I have been doing right. Now, believe you me… this weight loss is not on purpose, and if he knew what was really going on (oh hell no I didn’t tell him about this next part) I am sure he would have had something to say.

According to my scale, I have lost 19 pounds. According to the kind doctor’s scale, I have lost only 11 pounds since the end of January… because his scale is a fucking liar. This is not good and healthy weight loss, this is water weight or muscle or ketosis or something that has to do with being shaky, losing your appetite, not eating and having water poo for months on end. Hi! I am not healthy! Also, getting off the Nirivam may have caused my thyroid medication to kick in, therefore causing a serious spike in my metabolism and thereby jacking my shit all to hell.

I’ll get out of my own head in a while, but for now, please forgive me for holding out on you about Weetacon.

I am wearing a dress today. I know, right? It is so freaking humid that when I got out of the shower this morning, my face immediately began to sweat. Around my hairline was hot as a light bulb that has been left on for too long. My face was clean and an alarming shade of pink. The air conditioner was set to 68 and I had to lie on the bed, under the fan (on high) for about 10 minutes before I could moisturize. So, yeah, today called for “nothing touching my legs” sort of fashion. I have on a maxi dress that I bought while in the company of Kerry last year. I also wore it to a wedding last June. It is sort of revealing in the cleav-area, so I wore a tank top under it. And because I’m a little uncomfortable with people looking at my arms*, I put a small sweater over it. So now? I have on three layers… and flip flops. But I’m freaking adorable, and no one has asked me if I have an interview today (since I have stepped off the path of my normal Geranimals for Adults style). Win/win, fuckers.

*I have an alarming amount of small bruises all over my body; my right arm is spotted with little bruises that are not attractive. Under right arm? Check. Elbow (both)? Check. Wrists? Yup. Abdomen? Um hmm. Legs? Dear Lord, who beat you with a small mallet? I believe most of these were sustained while traveling.

Traveling you ask? Yes. Traveling. Last week was Weetacon and it was LOVELY. I will regale you all with a tale about the weekend in the next post or two, but right now? I am missing my tribe like WHOA and I am a little fragile. The post-Weetacon blues has set in. And the only thing that has kept me from the subsequent wailing and gnashing of teeth on this here site, was the wee, tenuous thread of dignity I still have left.

Let’s just say that I love Green Bay with the intensity of a thousand burning suns. It is not just my Weetacon time (which is freaking A-MAZE-ing! SING IT!**). It is every time I have ever been to Wisconsin. So? I applied for a job in Madison on Tuesday. Yeah, I’m sure that is a check mark box for insanity right there, but whatever. I did it.

**

I also need to suggest that you all go out and buy this A-MAZE-ing** (no, I won’t stop saying that) game ever. Seriously. We played this game on the bus and at Scooty Bon Bon***’s house on Sunday. Check it.
Cards Against Humanity
A quote from their site.

What is Cards Against Humanity?
Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people.
Unlike most of the party games you've played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends.
The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a Black Card, and everyone else answers with their funniest White Card.

A party game for horrible people. Totally makes you wanna play, doesn’t it? It was HI-larious. Trust me on this. Order it from Amazon, or make it yourself. I suggest ordering it for the low low price of $25, because, then? You will have a nice little box to keep all of the awesome inside. AND, you don’t have to go through reams of card stock and cursing at your offices’ weak ass paper cutter with the wonky blade arm. Just sayin.

***I was texting to Scotty Boom Boom and this popped out of my thumbs. I was a little drinky, it fit. It also made me giggle. And he didn’t protest too terribly much when I started calling him Scooty. Until it caught on with Tex… and THEN I saw his eyes tighten around the corners a bit. Sorry man. (Sorta, because it still makes me giggle.)

Also? Bees?????****

****It’ll be funny later. Or not. Whateves…

Will catch up to y’all shortly when I don’t feel like a ravenous teenage Tasmanian devil that has been shot full of horse tranquilizers and rhino estrogen along with a nice stimulant to keep me from sleeping. SINCE SUNDAY¹.

And? I have been having nightmares² of my ex-husband showing up in my dreams when I am fighting off drug lords with my bullwhip (???) and he’s all casual, “Will you make me a sandwich?” Me: “You are NOT supposed to BE HERE.” (cut to me using a Stihl chainsaw and making mincemeat out of my opponents at the lumberjack competition… because losers get SHOT…) Him: “Did you put away my laundry?” Me: “YOU are NOT supposed to BE HERE!” (cut to me loading a canon for the pirate ship that is coming about…) Him: “What are we going to have for dinner?” Me: “I SAID… YOU!areNOT!supposedtoBE!HERE!... ARRRRRRRGGHHH!!!!!!!”

And apparently I morphed into a swashbuckling pirate-tess in that last dream. (eyeroll)

(footnote: 2 would explain 1.)