Suzanna Danna

Owie owie owie owie.

I went to the dermatologist’s office yesterday afternoon.

I got out of work early and went home, Mister picked me up and took me to the doctor’s office to wait, and wait… and wait.

We arrived at 2:30. My appointment was for 2:40. The nurse called me in at 3:15, “Miss Danna, we will see you now.” Yay. Mister and I sauntered (yes, stop laughing, it was a sauntering occasion) into an examination room the size of a hamster cage. A strange doctor walked in and said, “Hmmm, You must be Dr. Winn’s patient, because I don’t believe you are mine.”

Out we went, back into the waiting room.

At 3:40 a nurse called us back. “Miss Danna, we will see you now.” Same hamster cage, correct doctor.

Dr. Winn: So, what are we doing today?

Me: Well, you asked me to make an appointment to cut this mole thingy off of the right side of my shin. {I hold up my chicken leg for her to see the mole thingy.}

Dr. Winn: I did? Well, we can’t do this today. You were supposed to make a 30-minute incision appointment. You made a regular office visit appointment.

I could feel the Hulk (aka Mister, sitting behind me) starting to bristle at the petite, Asian doctor’s tone and insolence.

Me: Dr. Winn, when I called to make the appointment I made sure I told them what the appointment was for. I did not say “30-minute incision” but I did tell them that you were going to cut a mole off my leg.

Dr. Winn: Well, we can’t do this today; you’ll just have to come back.

Me: That is not feasible, I work North of Fort Worth and I took off early to come here today. I cannot take another half day off. What can we do?

I did the ‘you and I’ hand gesture when I said we.

Mister: Your staff should pull the patients chart when they call in for an appointment so it can be scheduled correctly.

Dr. Winn: {real snotty like} We cant pull the chart of every patient that calls in.

Mister stood up, extended to his full 6’5” frame and towered over the barely 5’2” Dr. Winn. He took my chart from Dr. Winn and handed it to me sweetly, asked the nurse to step back for a second and then he grabbed Dr. Winn by her neck and her right thigh. He lifted her above his head, knocking one of her teeth out on the examination light, and started to spin her a la’ WWF. He stopped spinning, roared and threw her against the medicine cabinet next to the door. Tongue depressors and cotton balls went everywhere.

Dr. Winn took her little mole-measuring chart out of her pocket and hid behind it like a little child. Her smock was bloody from the (forcibly) extracted tooth and it looked like her pinky toe was broken. She kept muttering, “I should have chosen the violin, I should have chosen the violin.”

I am so not telling the truth… but I wished that is how it played out.

Heh.

What really happened…

Me: Regardless of if they pull the chart or not, I let the receptionist, scheduler, person who answered the phone know that I was supposed to have a large mole cut off of my leg. Can we wait until you have an opening today? We could come back, or just wait.

I looked to Mister for confirmation, he nodded.

Dr. Winn: Well, I guess we could take you after my last patient.

Me: Thank you.

Mister: RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!

Just Kidding.

So Mister and I went out to the waiting room to play our favorite game of “find attractive people in the magazines from the Mesozoic era that are littering the doctors’ waiting area.” I found Thor, he was really hot, his loincloth was smokin and that brow ridge was just what every girl dreams of.

After a brief (ha!) wait the nurse called for a third time, “Miss Danna, we’ll see you now.”

Same hamster cage.

They had me lay down and after 18 frillon Lydocaine (sp?) shots they began hacking into my poor little chicken leg. It was over fairly quickly with a minimum of pain and discomfort, but still….

I have 3 internal stitches and 5 or 6 external stitches to close up the wound. Ick.

Mister is sooooooooo precious. He took me home, settled me on the couch with my leg up on pillows and then commenced to make the most aromatic yummified roasted chicken ever. With stuffin!

I’m sorta sore and didn’t sleep well, but overall, it hasn’t been too bad. Until I accidentally kicked myself in the boo boo a few minutes ago. Zoikes!

Co-worker C had a doctor’s appointment this morning. They found a lump in her breast that they want to remove. Bless her heart. It will be her second surgery.