I ordered long johns yesterday.
Long johns.
Oh, and while I was at my parents� house this weekend celebrating the National Holiday (aka, my sister痴 birthday month) I got to see someone.
This weekend was very odd.
I told y誕ll (Trying to change the way I spell ya値l. It痴 a great cause, please donate. If not for me, then do it for the long johns.) that I was a step mom once upon a time right? I am sure that I have mentioned it at least once, or twice, or beat the hell out of that dead horse within my first year of this journal. But y誕ll know. Y誕ll know.
She turned seventeen in November and I got to see her this past weekend.
My ex step-daughter.
She is beautiful and brilliant and hugged me a lot and I kept touching her hair and telling her that I was proud of her and that I loved her. She skipped the second grade so she is graduating in May. Graduating. In MAY. My (almost mine) little baby, is graduating in May.
She text messaged me on Friday something about 泥on稚 [my parents� names] live near [place they live near]?� So I texted back, and we went back and forth several times until my old ass and my nontexting ways just called her, 滴ey, how long are you going to be there? When are you and your mother heading back home?� 的n an hour or so, but I called [her boyfriend] and we don稚 have anything going on tomorrow, would y誕ll mind if we came by to visit?� 的 would love to see you�� and then I am sure I called her honey, baby, sweetie or poo. Yes, it is embarrassing, but it has been so long since I have squeezed her in a big hug or since I have seen her smile in person.
We talk via texting, on the phone and email pretty often, but I haven稚 seen her in about four years.
Four years.
Dear Lord, that is a long time.
And to be honest with y誕ll, I didn稚 want her to come with her boyfriend. I wanted her to come alone. Because� I am selfish. And I didn稚 want to see her 21 year old (yes, 21.) boyfriend macking all over her because y誕ll know how kids are when they are that age. And they have been together for over a year, so they are all comfortable with each other and I was sure there was going to be a lounging issue.
Lounging Issue = I, at the tender age of seventeen, would be sitting on the couch with my boyfriend. If I wasn稚 sitting ramrod straight with my hands in my lap or if I leaned on said boyfriend just to be touching him my father would say, 鉄it up. Stop lounging.� And he sounded mad too. Like I was blowing said boyfriend right there in the family room.
Until I turned, well, I think I may have grown up a little around 27-30ish� so until I turned 30 I thought that my father was a big old meany who wanted me to be a nun or at least not date until I was 40. Now? I understand.
You (and by you, I totally mean me) don稚 want to see that kind of familiarity between young lovers. Especially ones (or just the one) that you (yes, I mean me) used to tuck in and read night-night stories to, and shared the ugly green leather recliner with every evening and on Saturdays to watch The Babysitter痴 Club with on Nickelodeon. Seriously. I don稚 want to know if she is sexually active and if she is on birth control.
I have turned into my father.
When did that happen? At least I知 not bald.
Anyway. They came by at 1:30 pm and stayed for a few hours. R and S. She痴 the R. He痴 the S. And for some reason, I really did not want to like him. But? I did. He is sweet and tall and protective of her. Their hands automatically find each others when they are sitting on the couch, he rubs her neck while she is talking expressively with her hands, she beams when he says something about their future. And he lounged into her while she was talking to my mother and they just fit.
It痴 awesome that she has found someone she is so in love with. Really, I am very happy for her. I just want� well, I want so much for her. I want her to go to college, have a career, get out of a small town atmosphere, live in a dorm, and decide what she wants without it being decided for her.
And y誕ll? I can see her mother in her. Her father. I can almost tell the future. And I said as much to my mother as I watched them pull away from my parents� house with R seated firmly in the middle of the front seat of S痴 truck.
self: 溺omma?�
momma: 添es, baby?�
self: 典hink she値l go to college?�
momma: 的 certainly hope so� what do you think?�
self: 展ell, he痴 going with her isn稚 he? Because her mother doesn稚 want her to be alone.�
momma: 典hat痴 what she said.�
self: 鉄he痴 not going to live in a dorm because she 創eeds her space, and a kitchen where S can cook�.�
momma: 添es. She did say that.�
self: 的 predict that she goes for a semester, misses her mother or home life so much that she drops out� or��
momma: 徹r?�
self: 典hey get married young, either because they want to or because they have to.�
momma: 徹h, honey, you really think so?�
self: 滴er mother and father got married at 17 and 18.�
momma: 典hat痴 right.�
self: 添ep�. So��
momma: 鄭wwww� I hope not.�
self: 滴ide and watch momma, hide and watch.�
momma: 鉄he痴 such a smart girl though��
self: 釘ut what else does she know? This is her life. She doesn稚 know any different.�
momma: 的 hope we are wrong.�
self: 溺e too momma.�
We took pictures and they loved on my niece and nephew and R introduced herself as their 殿lmost cousin�. And she introduced S to my father, brother in law and Mister as, 典hese are your 疎lmost in-laws�.�
It was so wonderful to see her. She kept telling me that she thinks I have grown even taller. She痴 tiny, 5�1� and still comes to my chest like she did when I was still in her life. I miss her so much, but I know that I made the best decision I could at the time when I left.
I hope her life turns out to be everything she deserves, because she deserves it all y誕ll. Every little bit.
Sunday night when Mister and I were coming home� actually, we were driving to his office to pick up his Tahoe. (That Friday before I went out to meet him at his office because it works out somehow to be 30 miles shorter of a distance from his office than from our home.) We were on 144, going West at the 183 overpass, just past Cowboys stadium and Mister had just said, 添ou have a nice little vehicle here missy.� And I was all, 的 know, isn稚 she the cutest?� When WHAM!
Mister was all, 展hat the FUCK WAS THAT!??!?!!!� And I pulled over to see.
I had hit a street light that had fallen into my lane after a stupid ass drunk driver hit the pole going the opposite direction. There was a woman in the other lane pulled over into the median (she hit it too) and I went to the back trunk area to get my little flashlight so I could asses the damage. I turned Samantha (my car, for those of you not in the know� please feel free to get caught up right over here.) off, left the hazards on and went around front to inspect her grill. (Heh. Grill.)
She was bucktoothed y誕ll. Her little front driver痴 side fog light was knocked out, the fender was scraped up, there was a hunk out of the sidewall of the tire and the wheel well was all scratched up.
Awesome.
A cop pulled up behind us and he hopped out. 泥id you hit that street light? I almost did and I knew that it was there from the call that came in.� The unsaid, but totally implied 鉄HIT!� was there.
A man had pulled over in the eastbound lane. He hopped the guardrail and bounded up to the cop, told him he saw everything and that it was a 電runk, Hispanic guy driving a truck on three wheels and one rim headed towards Dallas�.
I thought to myself, 鄭m I on an episode of Cops?�
Mister, visibly shaken, and cold hopped from one foot to the other and smoked like a chimney.
I was shaken up a bit, but I hit a cow a few years ago y誕ll. A streetlight doesn稚 even come close.
Samantha is in the shop but I got great news from the repair guy today. Her alignment and her frame are both in perfect shape, he has the tire on order and the other parts are on backorder because she is so new. He痴 going to get her in running condition and then give her back to me so that I don稚 have to drive a rental until the parts come in for her new fog light and the fender� purely cosmetic stuff.
I can hear Jeff Foxworthy imitating his mother痴 voice in my head right now, 展e just can稚 have nice things!�