Suzanna Danna

A long, long time ago... in a galaxy very far away. This cracked my shit up.

I give you a conversation with my evil pocket gay, Mike.

me: well then. You can move down whenever you want and feel right at home

Michael: exactly!
that's what i was thinking.

me: and also?.... i now have tangerine speedo in my head
stuck.

Michael: hehehehe
that was my plan all along.

me: OMG
remind me to tell you about the dream i had about you this morning

Michael: okay.
so when are you taking over your company and hiring me as an assistant?

me: i'm thinking... fall-ish
sound good?

Michael: sure
easier to move if the heat has dissipated a bit.

me: perfect, that way you wont be completely turned to ash by the intensity of the Texas sun
right
gah
so on it's like we're sharing a brain already

Michael: yup

me: okay

Michael: and you have some DIRTY little thoughts missy.

me: so... tell me you used to watch saved by the bell.
yes i do

Michael: was before my time.

me: well shit.
then this will not be nearly as funny to you

Michael: well, just barely. i remember it being on, just not watching.

me: there was this place that they hung out (and did oddly choreographed dance routines and poorly planned musical numbers in) called the Peach Pit

Michael: right. did see a few episodes.

me: okay
so....
for some reason you and i were in some beach town
you knew EVERYONE
and the whole seawall was businesses and shops put together kind of like San Francisco
no alleys
cross streets only like every mile or something
so...
we were at this place...
some chick wanted you to make out with her

Michael: WTF?!?!

me: yeah... i know... it gets worse
she was wearing turquoise...
the color ... not the stone

Michael: heh

me: all turquoise ... jeans... a little jacket over a coral colored sleeveless sweater
i am totally shrugging right now
no clue what this was about

Michael: the dream?

me: maybe because you told me you kissed girls before
yeah
it goes on
(AND ON)
anyway...
so the turquoise chick laid down on top of a Miata or something just as 90's
you undid her zipper with your teeth, laughed, grabbed my hand and said, "c'mon, don’t you need a smoke right about now?"
so we went outside

Michael: that is funny

me: which i thought we were outside ... already... with there being a car and all
so we ran outside (???)
and these dudes with the whole Don Johnson look followed us...

Michael: we ran?

me: yes?

Michael: weird.

me: (i am always thin and fabulous in my dreams... and i smoke alot... keep that in mind)

Michael: 100s right?

me: yes...
never know where i keep the smokes because i NEVER carry a purse in my dreams
anyway... the pastel posse was following us
they wanted to fight or something
it was all very West Side story

Michael: totally just had "when you're a jet, you're a jet..."

me: YES!
OMG

Michael: we are sharing the same brain!

me: yes

Michael: did we rumble?

me: you are totally going to dream about turquoise girl and her Baby from Dirty Dancing haircut tonight
no...
this is the weird thing
we ended up back where we were... with the Miata... you did make out with that chick... i was making out with some Don Johnson wannabe... then we did the same thing... "Don't you need a smoke about now? Let's get out of here..." and we ran
we got to this building

Michael: that is totally our new code for "let's get the fuck out of here."

me: and went inside... it was trashed
EXACTLY
we were just trying to get off the boardwalk (???) or something
and you McGuyver'ed your way through an alarm system
we broke through a window...
and i kept saying, "My this is very Peach Pit of you."
??????
so yeah
i may have had a stroke or something

Michael: okay, i want some of your drugs

me: it was awesome
like a bad 80's/90's movie

Michael: okay, weird question.. but what was i wearing?

me: complete with make outs, and drama, and danger... and McGyver
I cant tell you
you'll die

Michael: well, i've already made out with a girl so the apocalypse must be near anyway.

me: okay
fine
don’t judge me
it was a brain enema
you were wearing...
swear you wont judge me

Michael: swear
(brain enema?)

me: Reebok high-tops, acid wash jeans... AND A JACKET that matched.....

Michael: dear lord! i was Marty McFly!

me: i think dreams are like the brain’s way of purging
yes... you were matchy matchy
and i knew that it was a dream... totally by your outfit alone
and the size of my hair bow

Michael: heh
was it robin sparkles big?

me: holy fuck.. YES.

Michael: rock

me: "Let's go to the malllll! today!"

Michael: best.episode.EVAH.

me: no clue what i was wearing, but (i totally agree about that episode) i knew what you and everyone else was wearing
maybe that is why i kept telling you what you were doing was very "Peach Pit"
it was very .... AC Slater
or Zach.... whatever his last name was

Michael: hehe. i have never before been called Zach or Slater.

me: no no... you were totally you
you looked like you, talked like you... were totally snarky
BUT wearing acid wash
and knew how to break in to an apartment and disarm an alarm
and unzip some chicks zipper with your teeth
as she lay (hopeful) on the Miata
yeah... i need help.

Michael: i'm not sure which is worse. you had me kissing a girl. or that she was on a MIATA!!!

me: both

Michael: but. okay. the Miata....

me: yeah
i know
i'm sorry
it's almost as bad as... say a Fiero
no telling

Michael: i was driving home the other day and there was this gold/bronze convertible with this really cute guy in it... big aviator sunglasses that went from brown to clear, great tan, leather wrist band...
and i got closer and realized.. he was driving a brand new Miata.

me: fuck

Michael: i died a little inside

me: that ruined everything

Michael: yeah. totally did. decided he was probably a total douche.

me: absolute douche
or.....
ironic awesome guy

Michael: damnit

me: but probably a douche

Fun with Google Talk.