This morning I received a very comforting email from the company holding my 401k funds. It reads:
“Dear SUZANNADANNA,
The extraordinary events of the past few weeks have tested the portfolios and the confidence of investors around the world.We understand.
Rest assured that in times of market volatility, Fidelity retains the strength and stability that you've come to expect from us.
As the markets continue to fluctuate, keep in mind:
• Market volatility is normal, and is to be expected.
• Your investments should reflect your risk tolerance and investment time frame.
• Stay focused on your long-term goals.Fidelity has 60 years of experience providing our customers with the service they need to help them feel confident about where they stand, even through changing market situations. We're here to do the same for you.
Visit NetBenefits® to access more information on market volatility (link).
You can also view your quarterly statement here (link).Sincerely,
Fidelity Investments”
I forwarded the email to Mister who moved our funds into a money market account before the plunge of the stock market. Smart that guy. Kind of why I married him. That and the insanely large size of his… brain.
So I forward the message with one little word: Heh.
He replied back with:
Translation:
“Please, please, oh please don’t move all of your funds into cash. There are lots of other ‘chicken littles’ who are moving their funds and have stopped the bleeding, but isn’t it more fun to be like everyone else? What that does is upset our fund managers because now it will be harder for them to overcome the dramatic losses to your funds that they should have avoided in the first place.Ohhhmmmm
Ok,
Let me console you with some words of wisdom to add to your comfort:
It is better to give than receive; a dollar in the hand is worth 21 cents in a mutual fund; ask not what your mutual fund can do for you, ask what you can do for your pathetic mutual fund managers. Seven hundred billion stitches in time doesn’t amount to much; a copper penny saved is worth 1.6 cents.
There now, don’t you feel better?
Kindly go to your HR office and max out your 401k contributions so that you can lose even more money, er … wait, thirty days hath September, April, June and November –
Oh yeah, so that you can contribute to the Great American Dream (of our mutual fund managers getting an obscene bonus this year).
Thank you for your support,
Mr. Grubby Hands, ESQ, CFP, PFS, PC, LLM, JD, CFP, ChFC, CLU, LESS
P.S.
With all of those initials after my name, don’t you trust me that I know what I am talking about? Believe me, I have channeled this information from an old yogi master with pigeon toes, vertigo and a scorching case of … well … it should be healed by now, what with the advent of antibiotics and all.
Any way – you can trust me – REALLY!!!”
I married the epitome of Awesome.