Suzanna Danna

I just got an email message over at my Facebook profile: “you should call me sometime, i have something funny to tell you but i would never put it in writing.” And then he left his number. I replied back: “i'm officially a little bit scared. you call me.” And I left my number… and he did, he called me.

About sixteen years ago I came back to the Dallas area for the summer. It was to be the last summer I didn’t take classes and my last summer to be spent in Dallas. My plan was to be out of school with maybe two majors in four years. If I was going to do that, I had to spend my last two summers, between sophomore year and junior year… and junior year and senior year chock full of classes.

So this was to be my last summer of irresponsibility.

I got a little part time job and enrolled in one three hour class and spent the rest of my free time hanging out by the pool and all over town with my friends. I did errands for my mother, worked, stayed up late, read an obscene amount of fiction, watched movies until I couldn’t blink and ran the roads.

Everyone else had jobs too so we all worked in the morning (or afternoon) and then we would schedule a plan of whose house to go to in the evening. What movie would be on? Who had the food? Wanna go to Ad Libs (a local Comedy Club) or to Applebee’s and drink?

It became a ritual. Sometimes friends from college would come and visit and we would introduce them into the clan. Sometimes we would go visit college friends on the weekends and when we got back into town our routine would be waiting. The girls would get together for happy hours and go dancing; the guys would watch wrestling or smoke cigars and grill something outside.

It was one of the most relaxing summers ever. We were all chestnut brown from the sun and full of energy and the spark of youth. Our smiles came easy, the laughter was infectious and it was as if we were each a small part of a larger organism. We knew what each person was thinking , we anticipated needs and we laughed and loved as one. The innocence was there and we were all still just kids, but we knew change and accountability were coming so we reveled in the time we had.

I was still hanging out with my guy friends from high school mixed with the ever expanding group of friends from college and Natalie was over the moon with the attention she received from all of them. Who wouldn’t be? A bunch of good looking young men paying attention to you, anyone would be lucky enough to have that kind of deal working, but we were all taking care of one another.

Natalie needed to feel like she was the most desirous in the group so we made her feel as such. Stacey wanted laughter and lightheartedness, we gave that to her. I needed dancing, indecent jokes and laughter, I was given that in spades. Kerry wanted to shock and awe us so we would go to ladies’ bar with half naked men dancing on the bar. Stephanie wanted everyone to be happy and we tried to give her what she wanted.

When our friends would visit Marly would need to be challenged with humor and wit and we would take her to Ad Libs where she would have to wear the paper bag of shame on her head if she cursed out loud. Troy wanted to shoot off fireworks from David’s back porch and almost catch the neighborhood on fire… wish granted.

We also all needed, whether we wanted to admit it or not, a bit of assurance and affection, something that told us intrinsically that everything was going to be okay. The world was saying that growing up was what we were supposed to do; that summer, those three months, told us it was going to be fine. The summer calmed our nerves, made things shiny and gave us the means and the gumption to purchase booze when we were too young to do so. It even made things that were once taboo on the level.

I can remember going downtown to Ad Libs and entering with our seven or eleven dollar cover charge and our two drink minimum and laughing for hours. The shows would start at eight and ten and the later show normally went late into the night. Then the managers and bouncers would pour us out into the streets of downtown Dallas. Many of us were not in the mood for going home quite yet, so we would come up with something… anything to create a diversion, let the night, the flirting, the atmosphere and laughter go on just a little bit longer.

Sometimes on those nights we would play truth or dare. A truth was just as dangerous as a dare in the company of those friends. We took those dares and we tried to one up each other constantly, so constantly that one heavy and humid summer night I found myself streaking down Ross Avenue in Dallas at 1 am in the morning.

As the summer wore on a small foursome formed. It was me Natalie, Tall and Hot*.

*Stop smirking Hot or I will reveal your name and put a picture of us up right here. Also, I almost called y’all Milo and Otis. So, just be happy and stop gloating. Yes, you are a handsome man, we got it. Now move on. Also, if the boys ever find this… we are DEAD. I will not use these men’s names because these stories have not been told to the others of their original group of guy friends. This was mainly because of the strained relationship I had with one of the original men of the group, Bean. We didn’t feel the same way for one another. I’ve been over all this before in these pages, do not want to rehash now. But if anyone needs a link (Gah, I hate breaking tense and prose for an explanation) fine, here’s a link.

Natalie, Tall, Hot and I would get together for dinner, we would go out when others had to work anything that we could do to put that little foursome together. It was a combination that worked all around. Our senses of humor were similar, we liked the same thing and for some reason we thought we were just a little bit more grown up or mature than the rest of the clan (original guy group). It was never said out loud, it was just one of those things that you knew, you lifted your head to acknowledge and you moved on.

We all enjoyed each other. Tall adored Natalie so she got to feel like the Queen of Sheba and Hot and I got along just fine**.

**Hold you’re britches, I’m getting there. PS, we are SO dead.

It got out one night when the whole clan was gathered that Tall and Hot had lost a bet to Natalie and I (or some such bullshit) and that they had agreed to make us dinner for their penance. Behind Natalie’s back Tall was planning some romantic thing that he was convinced would sweep her off of her feet and into his arms or something. Hot and I just sat back and watched the whole thing with amusement.

Little did anyone, except our little foursome, know but Hot and I had found another more mutually beneficial way to pass our time together. We had become lovers over the summer and if any of the clan knew there would have been a big mess. Hot and I had a great time together, things were relaxed, no pressure and we explored and enjoyed each other’s bodies***.

***Happy? That’s about as much as I am going to say (maybe), this is not that kind of journal.

The night of the dinner there was anxiety over what Bean was going to do, we ALL knew he wasn’t happy about our little foursome. He was jealous, he was angry and to make matters worse, we soon found out that he was drinking that evening.

The four of us went to Tall’s house for the dinner and the boys proceeded to preen and strut around like they were French chef’s delivered straight from heaven to serve us a meal of… spaghetti. It was a fabulous time. Tall’s parents were out for the night so we had the house to ourselves. We could ramp up and be loud and we could couple off and not worry about getting caught making out in the kitchen.

The boys went to get dessert for Natalie and I and that is when we all heard the roaring engine coming from the street in front of the house. Tall looked outside and pointedly said, “Oh shit.” Natalie and I followed the boys to the front door and outside into the hot summer evening. On the street in front of Tall’s house was Bean in his car. He was revving the engine and speeding past the house to stomp on the breaks at the end of the street, squeal his tires as he spun the car around and then rev up and speed by again. I really don’t remember that much of the evening except the boys, Bean and his car and me asking everyone to step inside so I could try and calm Bean down. I can’t remember if it was Steve who warned us about Bean’s state or that I found out for myself when I asked him to step out of the car so we could speak.

Hot and I hid our tryst for the rest of the summer. We didn’t want the wrath of Bean coming down on either one of us or to tear a rift in the fabric of the group. That was the main thing. We wanted to keep the clan happy so we snuck around. I would meet him at his house after work or class and we would still see one another with the group. I took him out with the boys to a strip club one night and did my best not to show any preferential treatment to him. Not sure if I succeeded or not.

One afternoon we met up at his home and when he pulled me into his room he whispered low and removed my clothes, he lay me back on the bed and moved his mouth over my body tasting me and then flipped me over and let me do the same to him.

I found out much, MUCH later that Tall was actually there that afternoon furtively hiding in the closet.

So when Hot called me today we discussed how fun and relaxing that summer was I said, “Yes, all except for you hiding Tall in your closet to watch us… gah!” He laughed good naturedly, seemingly apologetically and when I said, “That was the last time.” He corrected me. He said that there was one more evening. One night when my house was surprisingly empty that we spent the whole night together. We showered one another and he went on to describe how sweet it was. Y’all. I cannot remember that. I don’t know if it was when my parents were out of town for some reason because my daddy would have killed me dead if he knew I had a boy alone, all night in his house.

Hopefully this awesome night Hot was referring to was before I found out about Tall hiding in Hot’s closet that afternoon.

Oh, I almost forgot. Hot actually called to remind me of sitting in Applebee’s one evening and I found a small screw on the window ledge. I leaned over and asked him, “Hey, wanna screw?” When he nodded in the affirmative, I handed him the tiny piece of metal. He said that he still plays that trick on his wife and she replies with, “Alright now… SUSAN.”