Suzanna Danna

Hi.. miss me? Yeah, I missed you too. You guys know what’s coming right?... Yeah, you do. Don’t get all shy on me now. You know… youuuuuu knooooow.

That’s right babies. A time line. By way of explanation for, well for my absence. I really love you, you know I do… and your hair looks beautiful and those pants make your ass look awesome. Yes, part of it was work so I will blow past that. But the other stuff. It’s kind of a big deal.

Okay, so it’s a big deal to me and I’ll get back with the program soon enough but here we go.

And-a One. And-a Two…

Timeline:
(Not the whole thing…. Just the past few weeks… I promise.)
March 4-8 Green Bay Thing
March 14 Sign with realtor
March 25 House went on the market
March 31 File for divorce
April 18 Open House
April 24 Family thing
April 29-30 San Antonio work thing
April 30-May 2 Weekend in San Antonio with Marly
May 6 Bury St. Joe in the yard at dawn
May 11 Birthday
May 13 Spa Day (OMG I so needed it)
May 18 Insurance thing with State Farm
May 23 Offer on house
May 23-25 Dallas work thing
May 28 Appraisal
May 28 Move into apartment
June 1 Finalize divorce
June 2 Half Day work thing
June 3 Leave after work for family’s house
June 4-12 Destin with family
June 14 Close on house AND Work Performance Review, plus a bonus 13 hr. day
June 15-18 Work thing
Coming up…
June 29-July 5 Work thing and subsequent hanging with friends on 4th in San Diego
July 23-25 Vancouver work thing
July 25-27 San Antonio work thing

Okay, some of you are rereading that list like it is your will.

And to answer some of your questions. Number one. Yes, Mister and I got divorced. Number two. Yes, burying St. Joseph in your yard apparently DOES work. Number three. I know… Vancouver and San Antonio on the same day? I am predicting a small nervous breakdown by the 28th of July.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. How about you guys?

This morning I woke myself up with actually saying out loud, “That was AWESOME.”

Apparently, my dream world is rife with excitement, sexy adventures, scifi gooey goodness and a movie poster (movie was made of said adventures complete with massive wealth thrown at us*, natch) featuring me and some lover. The poster looked like a cross between Meatloaf’s “Bat Out Of Hell” Album Cover and the VHS/DVD cover of “Heavy Meta 2000”. What? Shut up. I can be naked, astride my motorcycle riding Bad Boy lover who just helped me SAVE the motherfucking WORLD… Head flung back in ecstasy, with my hair flying as he jumps (and totally REVS a massive bike) over what I think was a junkyard full of zombies.

*No, I have no idea who it was with me… becoming rich and famous off of the sheer power of being awesome. I did whore it up in my dream to take at least three lovers, amidst the flame throwing and the walking across a little bombed out town with my hand in someone else’s, closing my eyes as a sign of trust that he could get us across the street. The fuck? Two I knew, and one… yeah, not so much.

It was much easier when I was dreaming about me and Elizabeth Taylor camping in Norwegia. Shut up, it IS TOO a real place and we were motherfucking OUTDOORSY.

Oh, if only I were one of those fancy artists who could paint or draw or even articulately explain what I saw, because Quentin Tarantino would have sneezed in his freaking jeans if he could have shared the dream with me.

How I wish I could have remembered what the movie was called… because across the top was the title, sinister looking and awesome with the motorcycle/fuck/jump bursting through the tagline.

Yeah.

I KNOW. Right?

Sex, explosions, machine guns, violence, more sex, saving the WORLD, more sex, trust and a budding friendship/relationship, a deep plot, some act of selflessness, did I mention EXPLOSIONS (?), motorcycles, more sex and fabulous internal monologues. It was the kind of movie that would have people cheering for the tough façade, though vulnerable and completely lethal bad boy turned to savior of the world with his kick ass (hot ass too, also very handy with weapons) “handler” …remember, he is lethal, he needs to be HANDLED. Mrow.

Women would secretly want to see the movie because of the sexual tension and the I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR! theme and men would want to see it because of the action… and the fucking.

See?

PS.. Bob Segar still makes me horny.