Suzanna Danna

I was having this amazing dream where everything was crisp and vibrant. The colors were kind of soft with a patina but only around the edges. In the middle the contrast was so bright you could taste the dust motes on your tongue, you could see the starkness between a ray of sunlight and shadow like the light carved the darkness with a blade.

I could smell the exhaust of the little scooters in the streets, racing past at break-neck speed.

I could feel the dirt stuck to my face.

I was on the phone, and walking, walking, walking, pleading with an embassy, talking to confidants and listening to the advice of close friends and smart people. I was working a deal, it was so complex, sort of like the domino theory of transplants that only happens on Grey’s Anatomy

I was so hot, sweaty and grime stained, and I kept wiping my face with an old dark blue bandana that I had shoved in the back pocket of my cargo pants. Sometimes the point of view would be like that of a “Ghost Hunter” with the shoulder mounted (POINT IT AT MY FACE!) camera, kind of shaky and missing frames. Sometimes the point of view was very circular, because this deal…. MAN… this deal had to go through.

I was working on (for pennies a day, enough to buy a cup of coffee) adopting children for each of my family members, my friends, and the man whom I am sleeping with (shut up). I was adopting these babies with flies in their eyes so my family and friends would receive a picture and a description of Umfoofoo and Shakira and about how they love to learn, dance and read, and notes that would read, “Thank You my new adopted family! Because Of YOU I can afford a flip flop and this aluminum ashtray.”

It’s a freaking Christmas MIRACLE!

Somehow the dominos didn’t fall right and I ended up with a retired circus grizzly bear who was wildly incontinent and who would remove his diapers if they weren’t just motherfucking perfect.

My biggest worry THEN was how to get him changed if he wouldn’t lift a freaking paw to help. Not to mention how to catch an Alzheimerized grizzly to change its diaper.

Freaking nightmare.

Stupid bear.