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January 2012 Archives

January 10, 2012

Happy New Year 2012!

I have this idea. Whether right or wrong I believe that our lives are broken down into percentages. I used to call it a rule, but “idea” sounds better, and I am sure I have mentioned this before. The percentage idea is that our lives are basically* split up into 80% and 20%** (to make up the 100%... I can do math, I are S-M-R-T). The percentages are thusly, 20% is what happens to us and 80% of how we handle those situations, how we react.

*Don’t argue with me.

**Could even be 90% and 10%.

I know, crazy right? Taking actual responsibility for our own lives? What the hell am I thinking?

(Coming back to this page after working for the better part of three hours on something mindless and I swear I had a point. Racking brain. Biting lip. Going backwards in my head on what…. OH … that, yes… carry on.)

So we are not just little leaves being tossed willy nilly about the sky in a wind storm. No, we definitely do have control over what happens in our lives. Some of you think you don’t, but you do.

Let’s do a for instance, shall we?

Let’s hypothetically say, oh… I don’t know. That you… hate your job. Number one, be thankful you have a job. B) Seriously, be really thankful that you have a job. Let’s say that you really dislike your job, but you are thankful to have employment and thank the six pound, 8 ounce baby Jesus (insert your own deity here) for the job daily and when you pay your bills, and go to the doctor because you have health insurance. I mean, you are SUPER thankful. Right? Right. That’s better.

But even though you are right and properly employed… there are things that make you want to punch people in the genital area*** and you are not a violent person. No. But you really can feel the rage beginning to build and then it turns into a full blown migraine (minus the vomiting) when this screech owl of a woman bathes in gardenia based perfume that you have asked her not to wear before because of aforementioned migraines and apparent allergic reaction to said scent, yet still, STILL … you can smell it at least 30 feet before you get to your desk and she sits a mere 4 foot (by crow) away.

***And or face.

Could happen. Yes? Or that you have been with your current employer for almost a decade (minus a year and some months) and you are not being paid what you believe you are worth. You have to do grunt work, not that it is below you (because you’d flip burgers for a living if you had to… amen!!!), it most certainly isn’t, but you are not feeling challenged.

You have been told to lower your expectations. You know this feeling, you were married to it. (BTW… hi ex-husband**** who is now researching blogs. Sir, did it ever occur to you, ironically or otherwise, that it would be rude after not showing the least bit of interest in your previous bride’s blog for almost a decade until you wanted to start one of your own to ask her for advice? No? Just checking.)

****As an aside, he would never get past the part where I lose my train of thought. Or that run on sentence.

You feel like you are in a rut.

Yeah, you kind of want to hunker down until the employment percentages change and are more in your favor. But here’s what you do. In a jacked up job market, regardless of where in the world a job is (Fairbanks, Alaska? Seriously? Yup.) you will make changes to your very marketable resume and send that puppy out. You will sling resumes far and wide. Your job within your job is to interview at least every six months just to keep your interviewing chops about you and to keep your resume current.

Hey, wait. I know that person. I AM that person.

I walk by a little shadow box, mounted by the door to my apartment, with a fortune from a Chinese cookie inside that reads, “One day you will be an accomplished writer.” And the guilt that takes hold of me sometimes for being a humongous LAZY whore is crushing. But these are the things I (we) can change.

I do challenge myself to send out my resume, I do interview, I may turn down the offer because yes, I am comfortably rutted into my routine, and I am not being challenged, but I am employed. I have health insurance. I love that I have a job to get up for in the morning. I love that finding a job ISN’T my job. I may not always love the job, but I have one. And I am thankful.

Being a massive lazy whore and not finishing a book, a short story, a novella because … well, it’s hard is such a pussy move. Hello, my name is Susan. (from the crowd gathered around on metal folding chairs “Hi Susan…..”) And I’m a puss.

I have had this discussion with the always beautiful and talented
Weet on several occasions and my excuse (that’s all it is, an excuse to be lazy and not take the time, not research, not start an outline, not even throw ideas into a bucket… nothing) is that everything I write turns out to look like I am completely ripping off the story line from Blade Runner.

No, seriously… check it out. In which I kill off a main character. PARTY FOUL! At least I didn’t kill her off in my first attempt.

Weet’s argument is this. Art is cyclical. Written word, poetry, fiction, movies, you name it. In 70 years it’ll be rehashed and covered again. Example? My favorite one she rattled off in a millisecond was, “Romeo and Juliette?... West Side Story. Same thing, just reworked for the time period in which it was placed.”

I’ve never even taken part in National Novel Writing Month. Why? Because I am a chicken… and as previously discussed… a LAZY chicken. I’m like one of those boneless chickens from Gary Larson's Far Side, "Boneless Chicken Ranch" cartoon.

(Have image downloaded, but Moveable Type is jacked... use your imagination.)

So, after coming perilously close to breaking my New Year’s Resolution (no noodling in 2012), I have decided to keep my head held high and regardless of how retarded the story is (in a bordello, a mustache competition and a sloth rescue?... WRITE IT!) then I will make my posts here more frequent. I will start on a novel. And I will keep slinging that resume. You guys never know when it’ll stick.

Much love and Happy New Year!

About January 2012

This page contains all entries posted to Suzanna Danna in January 2012. They are listed from oldest to newest.

December 2011 is the previous archive.

February 2012 is the next archive.

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