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May 15, 2012

Recap, Weetacon 2012

March 21st I headed to DFW to hop on my first of 2 planes that day. I got to Chicago, switched for one of those small, 3 on one side, 2 on the other jobs and then landed in Green Bay. I turned on my phone to a text from the gorgeous Wendy and she let me know she was headed my way to pick me up. We were going to run errands and basically be fabulous while doing so. I was so excited I wanted to kiss everyone at baggage claim. They really don’t frown upon that kind of thing in Green Bay, but it is not encouraged… the open mouthed kissing of strangers who are waiting for luggage.

Wendy arrived and stepped inside baggage claim. She braved me messily licking her face and humping her leg like an excited puppy and then herded me and my large suitcase (Shrek) out to her cute car. We both hopped in and headed up to Door County.

Our first stop was the Starbucks to get iced black tea as it is fabulous and tastes like motherfucking sunshine.

Then we headed up the road to get cheese. We stopped at Chuck's Dyckesville Bowl and had a frost mug of root beer and the most amazing fried cheese curds in the whole world*. I took one bite and was like, “Holy Christ, these are so fabulous, they need their own t-shirt.” Wendy calmly pointed to the wall where there was, indeed, a t-shirt.

Guess who walked out with that t-shirt that Chuck is holding?

Yes, bitches. Me.

We meandered up to Renard’s Cheese Heaven (that is not it’s real name, but it should be) so Wendy could pick up cheese that is so amazing it will make you cry. On the way back to her house we (totally SHE… I couldn’t see anything because I was still blinded by the awesomeness of the cheese curds) saw a herd… gaggle?... flock? murder? of turkeys in the thicket on the side of this little off shoot of a road. We pulled into the south entrance of the road and sped up to where Wendy spotted the gobblers and (it is a gift, she can spot wildlife a mile away) slowed down to a crawl to scan the area with our keen eyesight (I didn’t even have my glasses on; I wouldn’t have been able to see a barn). We got out of the car when we saw movement and I tried to get video. Yeah, fail. But it was a fun adventure.

We came back into town, plotting and planning our evening and the rest of the week the whole way in. We stopped by her local market and stocked up on her necessities, some yummy goodness for that evening’s dinner and a bouquet of flowers to place around her home. Yes, she is fancy enough to have fresh flowers placed around her house. My goal is to be like her when I grow up. Seriously.

Wendy and I made dinner plans and futzed around in the kitchen and arranged flowers in her many vases (that she made and or purchased) until it was time to pick up her adorable pug, Aveline, from daycare. We went to the puppy day care and Wendy showed me around. It is a fabulous facility.

Ave came out from the back of the daycare and bustled around our legs and feet like a teeny little Col. Klink, making sure her person was there, that she would be getting to ride in the truck and snorting derisively in my direction when I asked her questions.

We got back to the house and worked on dinner. Wendy’s husband was around and we ate a delicious meal and chatted about the coming weekend. After dinner we decided to get settled with the IGIGI garments, we needed to match up each garment with the person who selected it so we could have the IGIGI fashion show during Weetacon.

Having matched up the person with their garment I started trying on Wendy’s clothes, the fabulous black sequins skirt I had begged for and stomping around her house like Sally O’Mally yelling, “I like to KICK… and STRETCH and KICK!... I’m FORTY!”

She didn’t ask me to leave.


We hung out for most of the evening and I have to be honest with y’all, I love to come into Green Bay early for Weetacon. Yes, it is a soothing thing to be in town early and not have to worry about traveling nightmares and not making it on time, ect. But it is also nice to know that on top of getting settled at St. Brendan's Inn way before I have any actual duties, I get to spend time with Wendy. That is a happy place for me. Sappy? Yes. But true.

I had been part of the planning committee in the past and this year, I was swamped with other responsibilities and I missed out on being part of the team (sad face), but I offered to be the “pick up girl”… basically the fluffer who would take care of anything last minute, or whatever was needed.

Note to planning committee: Sorry for not being a true part of the team this year.

Wendy and I packed up her car with all sorts of goodies for the coming weekend and headed to St. Brendan's Inn. That place makes me so freaking happy. It is a perfect spot to launch any activity that Weetacon can throw at it. Space for Karoke? Check. Awesome restaurant? Check. Bar that feed you incredible drinks (FOOD GROUP!) like the one below? Check.

Let me line this out for you. The St. Brendan's Bloody Mary is composed of the following: tomato juice, vodka, celery salt, olives on a stick, pickle, lime, lemon, meat stick, cheese stick and a Spotted Cow beer chaser.

It is the breakfast of champions.

Because of the 80’s theme the schedule was school related as most of us were in school in the 80’s.

Here is a rundown of events. I will tell you what each thing means. If it isn’t evident. (And even if it is.) :)

Schedule of Events
5 – 7 pm Early Bird dinner at Caffe Mario
7-10 pm DIY night with DIY Studio and Gifts
8 – 9:30 am Weetacon bake sale and Gracie Designs Trunk Show
10 am Morning announcements
11 am Lunch
12:30 pm Class pictures
1-3 pm Gym Class
4-6 pm Field Trip
6 – 7 pm Booster club (sponsored by the PTA)
8 pm -??? Glee Club auditions
8 am – Yoga and meditation sciences
9 – 11 am – Self defense with Coach Dave
11 am – 12:30 pm — Open lunch period (find someone to sit with!)
12:30 – 2:30 pm Study Hall (zzzzzz)
2:30 pm – Community Service (Weetacon Raffle)
4:30 pm – Fiber Arts Fashion Show sponsored by Igigi
5:30 pm – Homecoming Dinner at Prime Quarter
8 pm – ??? Curfew (sneak out and meet us at the Bad Bar!)
11 am – Yearbook signing and award ceremony
3 pm – Hang out and play video games at the coolest guy in school’s basement

Thursday was lovely with people showing up in droves. Sarah, Dave, Allison and I worked the registration tables. Making sure that everyone got their nametags (courtesy of Michael), their programs and their pocket guides (courtesy of Melinda and fredlet). If they were signed up for the IGIGI fashion show, I made sure that they got their garment, tried it on and made sure it fit. (IF it didn’t, I found an alternative for the fashion show/review.) Lots of hugs and smiles and kisses. It was lovely to see everyone again.

Thursday evening we headed to Caffe Mario that is settled on the Fox River. It was lovely. I went with the spaghetti and wanted to roll around in it when I tasted it. The food was awesome and we kept getting texts and messages from people who were arriving. We headed back to St. Brendan's to have our Thursday night function in the Waterford Room.

The ladies from D. I. Y. Studio and Gifts were on hand with some homemade goodies (jewelry, ect) and the fixins to make your own perfume and lotion. I made some Coco-Coriander and Sage lotion and a little roller ball perfume. The fragrance is so delicious. I have it on right now. Nom. We hung out in the room for a while then meandered to the bar, then back into the main room, then all went to bed at an obscene hour. It was fabulous.

The next morning we had a trunk show and bake sale and our friend Kelly from Gracie Designs was on hand to offer her amazing line of handmade/hand sewn accessories. I grabbed up many of her headbands as per the norm … replace the word headbands for any word that she makes, card cases… purses… wallets… barrettes, hats… put a wearable noun here… she makes it. She even put some velvet backing on a few headbands so they wouldn’t slip off my pea-head. She brought it to me later that afternoon because we were meeting up again when we finished the opening ceremonies and Wendy gave us some sage words about the powers of smiling and going after your dreams.

The bake sale was a rousing success and there were stickers and pins and bacon chocolate chip cookies and bacon Rice Krispies treats. Yes, BACON. There were meat sticks and cheese sticks and cake pops that were so good they would make you cry. There were bags of check mix and snacks of all sorts and sizes. We raided the tables like vultures and praised all those who made things to donate. They were fabulous!

We all grabbed a bus buddy and headed outside to gather on the steps. After Wendy took the class picture we all loaded up on the bus and went on a tour of the Packers Stadium, after the bus tour we headed to the roller rink. YES, we are adults. YES, we have a fucking ass load of fun. YES, you can join us next year.

We rooted around the roller rink and did the hokey pokey (I have video) and turned ourselves around. Because that’s what it’s all about. I almost busted my ass in the ladies room and completely marveled at my total LACK of muscle memory for this kind of activity. Yeah, I am 40.… and yeah, I had some wheeled shoes strapped to my feet earlier this year. Am I still graceful on skates? Hell, no. Was it a blast? Yes. Moving on.

After the roller rink we all jumped back in the bus we headed to the Rock K Ranch, which is located between Green Bay and Appleton. We have been going to this ranch for years for our annual sleigh ride but this year, because of the later time we selected for Weetacon and the lack of snow, we had a horse drawn hay ride. It was raining and lovely. We went deep into the woods, singing and passing the Doctor around each of the two wagons and ended up at a gorgeous bonfire.

We hung out at the bonfire and took pictures of one another and shared more Dr. McGillicuddy and then hopped back on the wagons and headed back to the barn for, what most Weetaconers call their favorite time of the weekend… the bratwurst and booyah fixed lovingly and with much awesomeness by Wendy’s mother in law, June. The spread of food is immense and mouthwateringly delicious. June makes everything from booyah (a scrumptious stew) to brats with all of the fixings and pineapple fluff and the sheer amount of food is staggering and everyone loves it all. SO HARD. Her pineapple fluff has been rumored to make angels weep with respect.

After the amazing meal we all loaded back up on the bus and headed to St. Brendan’s.

On the way back to the hotel we played 80’s trivia and won prizes. This year was the eighth year of Weetacon badassery and fredlet made an amazing logo to go along with the theme of 80’s and Infinity. Check it.

Fabulous, no? YES. Yes, it is.

On the way to the Rock K Ranch we played Cards Against Humanity in the bus. And according to Wil Wheaton:

This game came around many times over the whole of Weetacon, the most spectacular, was on Sunday.

Friday evening Chad hosted the Karaoke and we danced and sang and got serenaded by the owner of St. Brendan's. We laughed and joked and dared each other to sing something or another. Chad rocked Taylor Swift so hard that I laughed and cried at the same time. We stayed up until 3 am or so and sent our karaoke team up to bed with the promise that their equipment would be fine until the morning.

Saturday while most people were leaning self defense from Dave or taking yoga or having lunch a few of us were laying out the incredible goodies for the Raffle. Weetacon is amazing. Yes, it is a get together for so many from all walks of life and all over the globe, but it also a charity event. We raise money through the bake sale, through the raffle and through the sale of the Weetacon calendars. We raise this money for a local Green Bay Charity called Paul’s Pantry. Over the years we have raised over $10K, which is pretty impressive for a group of goofy writers/bloggers/internet lurkers.

We had over sixty items, all more incredible than the next. There were handmade quilts, pottery, scarves, gift certificates, booze, art, photos, an adult themed corner (*blush*), a camera tote/purse by Jo Tote (Just like this one…CLICKIETY) and other amazing items. We bought tickets and started filling up the paper bags in front of each item. It was fabulous.

Quick shout out to one of our sponsors… Hi George’s Cream! I love you! Y’all? Order some of this stuff now. Maybe I can ask them to do a giveaway or something, but regardless, I want you all to order at least a small tube of the George’s Light, Special Moisturizing Lotion. You will thank me. So will anyone touching you.

Later that afternoon all the ladies who were participating in the IGIGI fashion show put on the garments supplied by IGIGI (in exchange for a review.. WIN WIN! Right!?) and walked the makeshift runway in the Waterford Room to the hoots and hollers of our fellow Weetaconers. The ladies all gathered in the bathroom and then filed into the hallway as Wendy announced us and was our emcee. It was lovely, we took a picture at the end and I am always amazed at how incredible IGIGI is. The garments are truly cut for plus sized women and they fit a multitude of different body shapes. Go back a few entries and you can find my review of the Minnelli Sequined Skirt. Which is the BOMB.

After the runway show we all went to a nice place a few miles away called Prime Quarter. It is one of those “cook it yourself (or pay $2 extra to have someone not fuck up your steak for you)” places. Shawn (my chocolate bunny) and I shared a gorgeous filet and salad and I personally burned our Texas toast on the grill.

When we got back to the hotel Jen and I went upstairs to get ready for our 80’s themed party which was being held on the 2nd floor of the Fox Harbor Pub and Grill which is basically across the parking lot from St. Brendan’s… BRILLIANT PLAN. Seriously.

I was wearing what ended up being a “Hi, I am Pat Benetar, I will dance in support of the local prostitutes/dancers and my bandana wrapped around my ankle is FIERCE” type of thing while Jen spiked the shit out of her blonde hair, put on all the black eyeliner in the world and went goth. She rocked it. Me? Shut up. We walked next door, went up the stairs and fell face first into awesome. Everyone was dressed up in their finest 80’s garb. Paula and her husband were Robert Palmer and one of those chicks from the Simply Irresistible/Addicted to Love videos. Sarah and Dave were Jennay, a local Avon sales representative complete with her bible on “Color Me Pretty” and one of the guys from Devo, whip and red planter hat accounted for. Chris and Wendy Mc were put upon teens with leather and lace gloves and bad attitudes. It was fabulous!

We played 80’s television show theme trivia and Trish swept the floor with all of us.

Sunday rolled around and we all (rather glumly) gathered in the Waterford Room for the last time. Wendy gave out trophies and Miss Congeniality and awards for things that happened all weekend. After the award ceremony, people started drifting out to the lobby to start saying goodbyes. By ones and twos our group broke up and drifted off to travel home. A few of us stayed. We headed to Van Able’s for lunch and then over to Scotty Boom Boom’s house to play Rock Band.

When we left Van Able’s Gwen and I got a ride with Scotty. We headed over to June’s house to pick up the left overs from the hay ride feast. There was so much food that his trunk was over flowing and Gwen had baked goods on her lap and nudging her gently in the head. We got to Scotty’s and put everything to rights and waited for people to show. When everyone got there a vote was taken and it was unanimous that Mike and I would head back to the hotel to pick up the Cards for Humanity game. We went and when we came back, we played the game in a circle on Scotty’s floor. It was fabulous!

One answer was far and away the most remembered. We were going around the circle and Gwen was down to one of her last cards. She had an answer that she didn’t think would go over well with any question that was previously asked… and she felt that this question was no different. “What is the new fad diet?” So when it came her turn, she shook her head in consternation and replied to the question that was asked and with a small shrug of one shoulder and a lift of her hand, she intoned, “Bees?”

The whole place FELL OUT.

That answer became the new “That’s What She Said” for the whole day. We were all laughing uproariously and started a twitter avalanche that spanned the United States.

The Weetacon twitter reply rendered even the heartiest weak with laughter and sore stomach muscles.

That evening we held fellowship in the bar of St. Brendan’s Inn. The few of us that were there were quiet and introspective and we spoke of love and community and that we couldn’t wait until next year.

Monday, we headed home.

I miss you all. I love you. And I count myself a very lucky individual to be able to call you all my friends.

The movie of the Photo Booth from the 80’s night. Chad BLED to bring us this movie. I can almost watch this without crying.


May 31, 2012


I salute YOU, Mister and/or Missus Gloriously Different Person of Interest. I applaud your ability to take those things that make your fabulous and kick it up to eleven. Yes, you march to the beat of your own drummer, and sometime you ARE the freaking drummer.

I celebrate your ability to be separate from the pack. To stand out. To revel in being a rebel and calmly raising your middle finger in a gentle salute to all things conformity cries for.

Funny Pictures

Yes, you are lovely and I am completely jealous of your eyelashes, your ink… the thing that gives your brain the time off from worrying, “Oh dear, what will the neighbors say?”

That right there is the crux of the matter.

I was raised to be overly concerned about what my neighbors, fellow church goers, school mates, neighborhood families and teachers and most importantly MY family thought about every freaking thing I did, wore, said, ate ect. It is exhausting being that aware of exactly HOW MUCH people really don’t give even one tiny little nugget of a shit.

I’m fat. I like piercing and tattoos. I like my hair long and sometimes it is colored oddly. I like music that spreads across centuries and tastes. I like food that the adolescent me would have run screaming from. I will try almost anything. I use big words sometimes… and most of the time, I use them incorrectly. I am a smoker. I am physical. I am affectionate and I am LOUD. I want nothing more than to make you laugh and for you to be comfortable. Are you hungry? Do you need something to drink? Here’s let me put a pillow on the coffee table for your feet.

For all of these things I could be any person, anywhere, anytime, in any country. I am one of the herd. I am a motherfucking lemming.

Of this I am aware.


For the past few weeks the pollen in Texas has been off the freaking chain with the sheer amount of tree sex in the air at any given point. My eyes refuse to stop watering. So I have been forgoing the make up most mornings I come into work. I look like a startled burn victim. My face pink and splotchy, my eyelashes and eyebrows blonde, my light eyes having no definition and generally floating in the sea of a sweaty, weak featured orb of what I call my face.

Sure, post make up… I’m pretty fly for a white girl.

I look horsey. Also? Nay. BTW.. My mother would say this picture makes me look stuck up.

But pre make up I look startled and very, very shiny.

So this morning, as per the norm… I showed up at the office in my work clothes (flats, black pants, top… DONE) with my make up not on my face, but squirreled away in my purse. Where it wasn’t doing anyone any good.

I have been forgoing the whole “face primping thing” for weeks now. I have blonde eyebrows, so it’s not like I look like Bert from Sesame Street up in this bitch. When it comes to face grooming, I keep it to the minimum. Don’t hate me because I don’t pluck and tweeze and fret over the hair on my face. I just don’t. You could send me some love and a little “Oh BABY!” (pat pat pat(s)) because I look like the blank canvas that someone spilled a freaking pink wine spritzer* on.

*Is this even a thing?

Thank goodness for the AVANI soap that I have been using religiously for a few months, my skin is as soft and blemish free as a baby’s ass. So I don’t have to look too closely.

Or I didn’t have to before.

OH HO HO HO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I went to throw some powder on this morning, maybe a little eyeliner? Some lip gloss, if I was feeling lucky. (OMG, remind me to tell y’all about the most awesomest lipstick/lip liner/gloss (2 different looks) on the planet… NOM!) I pulled my make up bags, yes two, out of my purse and found the powder, fluffed it on my face without the use of a mirror. Then I went to put on a little color on my lips. Without a mirror. Then the eyebrows needed a little color… I opened the mirror. I did my eyebrows, and then a little eyeliner, mascara business… and when I went to check my lips and do a full “circle around the face with the mirror” thing to check to make sure I didn’t look like an errant clown… I saw it. I have NO IDEA how long it’s been there as I haven’t looked at myself closely in a mirror in … days? Weeks?

I know, I have told you all about my interesting wee little weird hairs in the past. But this?

My beard hair. The lone little hair had gotten cocky. I had not seen hide nor hair (har) from it in months. So I figured it went into hibernation or something. Oh fuck, was I ever wrong.


And about a quarter of an inch long.


I jumped, startled like I had just been goosed, and made this little “oh no” noise, then dove face first into my makeup bag to find my tweezers. I pulled that one sonovabitch out by the root and then looked at it. Y’all… I should have taken a picture.

WHO else has seen my beard hair and not mentioned it?

I have been having SEX with a hot ass man! OMG! What if HE saw it!?

Can you twirl just one beard hair?


Also, I got the sweetest message from Trixie earlier today.

This really is in apropos of nothing; I just thought I would share.

About May 2012

This page contains all entries posted to Suzanna Danna in May 2012. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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