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Really Bro?

Last night after having dinner with Stacey* we were riding home and the following conversation took place:
Stacey: OhMaGuh, I am so incredibly full.
Me: No kidding, I had, at least, three enchiladas.
Stacey: It’s a good thing I am wearing stretchy pants.
Me: It’s a good thing I am wearing pajama jeans.

Bringing the sexy back, one pair of stretchy pants and a bonus pair of Pajama Jeans at a time.

*Stacey and I have a standing date so we can try to keep caught up in each other’s lives. Normally we fluctuate a day (week) or two at a time, but we do try.

Did y’all notice that my site was missing in action for about three months? No?

To be honest, me either.

Story time.

Remember last time how I told y’all about trying dating sites while I was (incorrectly and stupidly) single earlier this year? Oh yes. I did. I tried them all.

I was on Match.com for an hour or two when this seemingly nice young man messaged me.

Well, hello cutie.

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Yes, I am single, no, I can’t believe it either. I’m a catch, I KNOW… Right?

We texted for a bit and then he asked me to go to Yahoo messenger. Weird, but ok, whatever. Pics? I have 4 uploaded to Match.

Oh, here are many of your own?.. H’ok.

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You’re quite adorable. And your daughter’s name is… Joy? Very nice.

So he gave me the background on himself. He was widowed almost six years prior. His bride had passed in the hospital giving birth to their daughter. He was a Frenchman living in North Dakota, he had gone to University in Paris, he was a single father and had a business as a general contractor. He had a dog. He wanted to talk on the phone.

Ok. All good and fine.

He wanted to talk all the damn time. He was pretty hot and heavy pretty fast. I was just testing the waters…. So when he told me he had feelings for me, I replied with, “As long as they are not murderous in nature, we’ll be ok.” I clearly did not know how to handle someone who wanted to be in my back pocket 24/7.

We talked after work. Normally later in the evening. He had stuff he had to do after work, and that was normally feeding and spending time with his daughter, he would call me after he put her to bed.

We would talk about our day, he asked me where I worked. I told him.

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A dozen red roses? What is this?.. A Nicolas Sparks Novel?

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Nom, chocolate. Now you are speaking my language.

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No. What?... You may see this as sweet. I? Am emotionally broken and see this as "RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

These showed up one day at the office. I was the envy of most of the girls in the office. However, I was not feeling it. It felt too pushy, it felt too fast, it felt weird. I chalked that up to him not being Nugget. I was used to Nugget, I missed Nugget, I wanted nothing but Nugget, and my relaxed attitude towards Terry seemed to only fuel his fire.

His fire… freaked me the fuck out.

I went to Green Bay for Weetacon. And while there I showed the texts to some friends. We were all sitting around a table in the bar at St. Brendan’s Inn when a particular text came though that spurred me to reply, “Sir, you need to seriously slow your roll.”

When that didn’t faze Terry I asked for help. Trish took the phone and laid it out a little harsher than I had. Terry didn’t get the hint.

He just kept comin.

He swore he loved me. He wanted me to be his woman. Yes, he said, “Susan, I want you to be my woman.”

Whut.

No.

I was not vested in this false relationship at all. I had never met him. It wasn’t real to me.

When I got home from Weetacon I was really asking him, “Are you a 68 year old truck driver from Detroit named Bruce?” He would reply, “I am who I say I am, I have nothing to hide.”

My inner sceptic snorted derisively and chortled, “Oh, really.” And then I unleashed the hounds. The hounds, in this instance, are my intincts to Google Search that fucker to death.

Yep.

Guess what I found? Click for Report on Romance Scams

Oh, hello CATFISHER!

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Apparently he had been asking for money from various “girlfriends” on dating sites for years.

Really Bro?

You lost money on this roll of the dice. And I got some flowers and to stuff chocolate in my face.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on July 31, 2015 2:41 PM.

The previous post in this blog was Stupid Girl.

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